Cake, anyone?

I hate not having control. I think that's why I don't like revision much. I'm currently bound by routine and it's boring, if I'm honest. The actual act of revising isn't too bad because I enjoy leaning new things and I figure I have chosen this subject so it's somewhat enjoyable. But the having to do it, at a certain time and by a definitive date, is where I struggle to conform.

This worries me too. If I can't be strict with myself and if I'm easily distracted, and I just so happen to hate being told what to do, how will I ever get a job? Or stay in a job? I'm sure I'm capable. But what if I hate life, for the rest of my life?

The thought of being stuck in an office 9 to 5 all day every day sends a wave of fear over my work-shy body. I can see weekends becoming freedom hours where I drink myself silly and go wild in the aisles at Topshop.

Exams are the worst. As much as I hate a deadline, at least with an essay or an assignment you have a little independence and can construct your own plan of action. Exams are different. You get X, Y and Z to revise, by a given date, and then to top it off you have to put all of that brain-squished information onto a page within a time limit. The chairs are usually uncomfortable, the table's wobbly and that examiner that walks around glaring over your shoulders is a major distraction. Have you ever had the ones who have really loud shoes? We had a 'BAN THE INVIGILATOR'S HEELS' campaign at school. Catchy name, I know.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I'm stressed. This is also the reason for lack of posts at the moment. It's that same time of year that I really should be used to by now, but it always springs on me in an unwanted, loud "SURPRISE" kind of a way. Right now all I want is a real surprise, at a party, with lots of cake.

Lois x

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